Aaron – THE olympics 100 word challenge

May 13th, 2012 | Posted by aaronoak11 in 100 Word

ONCE  upon a time

THERE was a boy called Leo he went to a Olympic stadium. And  he said to the manger now what do i need now manger and you need a football to kick to score and defend so the ball doesn’t score or win and Leos team won and they won every champions league tittles Leo said that was fun he said to his mum his mum said well done said mum you were good she yelled mum she cried because i won,t to try what  you done today Leo your the best today Leo you were the best today cried mum said i wish i was you yelled mum i can,t believe you sat there to watch me at the Olympic stadium to run,play football, basketball,long jump fencing, javelin, pole vaulting, sprinting,show jump,karate.

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13 Responses

  • louis says:

    cool Aaron. 🙂

  • madisonoak11 says:

    well done Aaron

  • joeoak11 says:

    cool story i like it when he wins

  • Mrs Shaw says:

    Hello Aaron,

    Well what an exceptional athlete your character is, able to compete in some many different sporting events. Have you seen the Olympic Stadium, Aaron, what an exciting sight it must be? I can see that you are getting ready for the Olympics and really thinking hard about the possibilities. I like the way you have included emotion into your storyline describing Leo’s Mum’s reaction to him winning. I know I would be emotional if one of my children ever got far enough to even enter the Olympics let alone win! I can imagine that the pride you would experience would be immense. This is a good point to remember, always try to imagine how your characters would react and think and feel to events in your stories. Oh yes and don’t forget to reread each sentence aloud to check that you have used all the punctuation you need to and that it makes sense.

    Thank you for sharing your work with 100wc.

    Mrs Shaw (Team 100wc)

  • Ross Mannell (Team 100WC) says:

    Hello Aaron,

    It looks like Leo might be a big hope for the upcoming London Olympics. He seems to be very skilled in a number of sports and athletic events, what I would call an all-rounder. Perhaps Australia should get him to come here so he could help us in the London Olympics. 🙂

    Remember to reread your story before you post it. As you read, you might notice places where you might have started a new sentence.

    I hope you keep entering the 100WC. I might again be able to read about the adventures of Leo and how he did in the London games.

    @RossMannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher, NSW, Australia

  • tobyoak11 says:

    new favourite

  • travisoak11 says:

    i like the name

  • oliveroak11 says:

    It is very good but it dose not make sense

  • samoak11 says:

    very good

  • charlieoak11 says:

    There are a few grammer mistakes but I like it Aaron.

  • tobyoak11 says:

    cool story i like it

  • louis says:

    There are a few grammer mistakes but I like it Aaron.

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