ashley 100 word

January 5th, 2015 | Posted by ashleydrybrook14 in Uncategorized

There was a boy called Seb and he liked billding stuf but as he started there.  Was a noce that came from the sky and he went to fly to the sky to find out what it was but he didnot see eneything.  At all so he went back down to the billdings he herd it a gen  so he went back.Home and startid to billed more.Stuf  and he sore a beird and he said hello to him but he said nuthing at all chascd him.And he led him to a billding and went inside and sore a man on a step and said hello.The End

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3 Responses

  • Mrs Barnes team member says:

    You have some really good ideas but you need to be far more careful about your punctuation as full stops in the wrong places make the story very hard to follow. Try reading your work aloud and noticing where you take a breath. That is where you need the full stop. Also try to avoid using the word stuff in your writing . Good try though.

  • Mrs Barnes team member says:

    You have some lovely ideas here but the flow of your story is broken by the full stops which are in the wrong places. Try reading your work aloud and see where you take a natural breath. That is where the full stop goes. Also try to avoid using the word stuff in your writing if possible. Good try.

  • Elizabeth Hopkinson Team 100WC says:

    Hello Ashley. Looks like you’ve been trying hard here. The words to use should be, “as he started they” (not there), but well done anyway.



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